No, not another baby. Yesterday was the anniversary of the day we found out we were expecting Lily. We were sooo excited and there was so much we didn't know. We didn't know that our first child would change us so much. I had NO IDEA how much she would change me. Before Lily, I didn't know the kind of love that a mother has for her child. She has put in me a love that is so great and so deep that I could've never imagined. I loved her as she was growing inside me and I loved her when she was born, but somehow I love her more with every passing moment. When we found out we were expecting Lily we didn't know that we would have to help her to be able to hear. Her hearing loss has made me appreciate so much more in life. There is a lot I take for granted. So much has changed in a year, and I'm thankful that those changes have made me the mommy of a beautiful baby girl.
The feedback from the hearing aids is driving me crazy! Lily's hearing aids were buzzing all through church this morning. I kept going to the nursery so we wouldn't distract anyone. We've had these molds for 6 days. Has anyone every heard of OtoFerm Acoustic Seal Creme? I've read that it helps cut down on the feedback. If anyone has used it or heard of it I would love to hear from you. Here are a couple of cute pictures from this morning. Somehow she managed to get her foot stuck in the toy on her bouncy seat. I love her so much!
It seems like as soon as Lily gets new ear molds for her hearing aids, they're too small and we need new ones. When the molds get too small it's easy for Lily to take them out. Here she is with her right hearing aid in her hand. She had just taken it out. We just got new molds on Monday and I'm calling the audiologist today to schedule an appointment to have new molds made. How can she grow so much in just 5 days? It's amazing! I can tell when they're getting too small because they squeal and buzz more. I can also hear my voice in her hearing aids when I'm close to her. I don't hear any of that when the molds are brand new.
I still don't notice a change in behavior when Lily has her hearing aids on. However, Lily's daddy says she gets quiet for a few minutes right after he puts her hearing aids on in the morning. So maybe...? She doesn't react to loud clapping, banging, or shouting right behind her ears. It'll be interesting to find out what she is hearing or not hearing at her next sound booth appointment in March.
I was reading a story to Lily the other day and got a little tearful. The book is God Gave Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren. The story is about a bear cub asking his Mama where he came from. At one point Mama bear tells her baby "your papa talked to you and sang to you...he wanted you to be born knowing his voice." I felt sad that Lily has never heard her Daddy talk to her or sing to her. As the story continues the baby asks, "Umm, Mama? I was wondering...Did you ever want a different baby? One like Samuel the seal or Fredrika the fox?"
"Never," Mama said. "Never, ever, ever. Your papa and I wouldn't trade you for the world."
"Why?" Little Cub asked.
"Why? Because God gave us you."
As I was reading this part to her tears started streaming down my face. I never expected my baby to have any problems. I most certainly never dreamed she would be deaf. But as I read this part of the story, I realized that I would never want a different baby. Her daddy and I love her just the was she is, and we wouldn't trade her for the world. We are blessed that God has given her to us.
Lily started wearing hearing aids on Monday (2/2/08). I wasn't really expecting her to respond to any sound, but a part of me was still hoping she would hearing SOMETHING. It's been almost a week, and she doesn't seem to hear a thing. Two of our cats got in a fight this morning and I yelled quite loudly at them. Lily was asleep on my chest with both hearing aids in. . . she didn't even blink. It's going to be a long 3 to 6 months of hearing aid trial, knowing they don't seem to be helping her to hear. She's had her hearing aids for less than a week and her ear molds are already too small. This causes LOTS of annoying buzzing coming from the hearing aids. It doesn't bother Lily though.
Lily was born with profound bilateral sensorineural hearing loss (deaf in both ears) to two hearing parents. She is now learning to listen and hear with the miraculous technology of cochlear implants. This blog was created to update our family and friends on her journey to the hearing world.